Becoming Perfectly Yourself--A Journey of a Lifetime

Last year I made a New Year's resolution to read the entire Bible and the Catechism during the year.  I was given a chart from a friend which had assigned the readings to be read each day from the Old Testament, the Psalms, Wisdom books, the New Testament as well as paragraphs in the Catechism so that by the end of the year I would have read it all.  That seemed doable for some reason.  I had a chart to mark off the days, and I wouldn't be "stuck" in the Old Testament for months on end, but I would be able to read the New Testament, and the Catechism  (which surprisingly was highly interesting)  in tandem with the Old Testament.  The last time I resolved to read the Bible I tried cover to cover and I did not get past the Book of Leviticus before I quit!  

Amazingly, last year was the first time I ever succeeded in any New Year's resolution!  December 31 came and I had finished the entire Bible and the Catechism!  Now, I wasn't perfect, there were days when I had issues that came along that took over my life and I didn't do my readings.  Sometimes I was just a day or two behind, easy for me to catch up, but when my grandson was born in December, well I was a week behind.  However, that still didn't stop me because I was so close to finishing and this resolution had taken on a life of itself, it had turned into a habit, which is the purpose of all resolutions when they are practiced daily.  I truly needed to get back into my readings and caught up in a few days.  

I was so proud and happy that this year I decided to try another resolution.  Our parish gave away a book to its members as a Christmas gift (Matthew Kelly's book "Perfectly Yourself").  It was only 210 pages and they also had podcasts to help you stay engaged.  That made it even easier...but the crux to this all, I soon found out, was that you have to find something to change about yourself... in order to become the best version of yourself. 

Well, immediately I thought, well that blows this resolution out the window.  What the heck is my best version of myself?  Somehow I am supposed to recognize that. Most times I already think I am perfect -- only kidding -- but seriously, I had to get deep down into myself and think of the faults I possess. I knew several already, but changing them -- permanently -- that ain't going to happen -- been there, done that! But what the heck, I'll continue to read the book and see where it goes, just finishing the book is part of the resolution...and who knows maybe I will surprise myself.

So, what happens? I started seeing some of my imperfections and thought, well this is hopeless... becoming my best version of myself... I should have started years ago... but then, on page 6,  I read this: A tree does not try to make all of its branches straight.  It is perfect in its imperfection, perfectly imperfect.  And yet it does change and grow over time.

Well Kelly got me on this...I love trees, always taking pictures of the most distorted ones I can find as their twisted branches are what gives them beauty and character.  If I were a tree, I wouldn't want to be the straightest perfect tree -- after all they are the ones that get chopped down at Christmas time and then tossed away the day after.  I wanted to be like the ones in the forest that everyone loves in their twistedness.  That doesn't mean I didn't want to be perfect... because I do.  As Jesus says..."Be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect."  But now I realized that I could be imperfectly perfect -- a constant work in progress and still reach my goal... 

Further along in the book Kelly talks about getting a glimpse of the best version of yourself. Recognize it, understand its secret, and then strive to duplicate that again and again.  I thought this would be hard to do as well... after seeing all my imperfections I don't think there has ever been a time when I ever expressed my best version of myself.  I thought about this a long time, and then realized that I DID see a perfect version of myself.  Late last fall, before I even started reading this book, I experienced the best version of myself and I even thought about what I could do, or should do to be more like that version of myself!

I then realized that I experienced this whole idea of being the best version of myself practically my whole life... and it all started in the weirdest way... partly because of the high opinion I had of myself... as self-deluded as that may sound.  

The Back Story:
It all started on the day I was born... long story short, I was the fourth child in a family of eight.  Three sons were born first which easily fulfilled the Sicilian requirement of having a son.  Now, my parents really wanted a girl.  They even had my name picked out--I was going to be named after my paternal grandmother. They just needed me to come out a girl... and I did.  What was amazing, in my child-like mind, was that I was born on the same day as the feast day of my patron saint.  Growing up Catholic, I knew that meant I was destined to be a saint... coincidences like this just don't happen without a reason.  Yes, I know that is pretty deluded, but nonetheless I tried to lead this perfect life of self-giving.  Helping strangers by picking up things they dropped (which people thought I was very sweet to do) and "preaching" how my siblings should behave (which was often thought of as being bossy.) Of course as I grew up the idea of sainthood vanished--it was a lot harder and more time-consuming than I had the initiative to carry on with. But the important part of this story is that I developed the habit of doing things for others and watching out for other's needs. 

The Current Story:

Last fall my husband and I spent a month back East "taking care" of his mother who has dementia. We have been going back East for a few years now to give his sister, who lives near mom, a break while she goes on vacation.  Because mom's dementia had progress to the point that she could no longer live by herself we had just moved her into assisted living, and we would have to see her every day to make sure she would adjust to it.  Before we arrived, we told her we were coming several times over the phone, and she was very excited to see us.  But when we arrived, she had totally forgotten we were coming.  When she saw us, she started crying as she was so surprised we came to see her.   My husband and I were saddened to see how bad her dementia had truly become but we were thankful that she recognized us, even though our names were not readily available for her to call us by name. Knowing how much she needed to see us made this month-long visit with her more meaningful to us.

Later in the visit we had dinner with her at her residence as she wanted to "show us off" to her new-found friends.  We sat at her usual table and my husband sat next to her so he could concentrate on her and I sat across the table next to her "eating buddy."   I spent most of my time talking to her friend who seemed quiet and possibly felt out of place, so I did what I could to make her feel comfortable.  We had a good time talking and laughing, mostly about the spinach I suggested she eat for dinner. She kept insisted that she did not like spinach -- never ate it as a child and had no plans to start eating it now, even though I told her how good it was for her and how Popeye always ate his spinach.   I helped her cut her meat, as that was a difficult task for her to do and we both enjoyed each other's company having a good time talking and laughing during the whole meal.  I saw her again the next day as we dropped mom off at an activity and I knelt down next to her wheelchair to say hello to her and reminisce  about our spinach conversation. She started laughing again and I told her I was so happy to see her again and just had to say hello.  At that moment, she started crying and I realized that she was very lonely and not use to having visitors.  I put my arm around her and kissed her and tried to comfort her the best I could. And before long I had her laughing again.  A week later, it was our last day, and we were saying goodbye to mom and walking her to supper, where I saw her friend and I wanted to say goodbye to her before I left.  To my surprise she didn't know who I was.  I did not know she had dementia too, but after a few moments of talking with her we became friends all over again, laughing about spinach.

As we left and headed back home, I could not help thinking of her and how good it felt to have been able to spend time with her and provide something she truly needed.  It was reminiscent of the times, as a young girl, I worked so hard trying to be saint-like.  I thought at that moment... this is the kind of person I liked being... going out of my way to help others, being a caring and loving  person.  Taking the time to make others happy and getting back to that little girl who tried so hard to become a saint... I mean actually working on it! 

So reading Kelly's book has opened my eyes again to see my perfect self. The person I would like to be all the time. The person I need to duplicate over and over again   So maybe I can work on this new resolution... becoming the best version of myself.  I have the rest of my lifetime to obtain it, I know it can't be done in a year's time, but the journey, if I focus on the changes in me and not the far off goal, should be amazing.  All I need to do is to walk in the footsteps of Jesus...become a true disciple,  and when I fail, trust in Him, knowing I need His help and  that He is always there to give it to me -- to pick me up and carry me through.

Are You Willing to Wait for God?

I have many resources I turn to during the times I need to find answers to the complexities of life.  The best resource is the BIBLE...GOD'S OWN WORD shared with us over the ages.  The Bible is not a book written ages ago for the people who lived back thousands of years ago.   It is the Living Word of God.  Those who read the Bible often know that it truly speaks to them about the situations they are going through TODAY.  This is a perfect example of what I mean.  We have all prayed to God and wondered "Why isn't he listening to me?  Why am I suffering? Why does God do this?

This reflection on the Reading from the Prophet Habakkuk helps us to understand God and his love for us.

 Habakkuk 1:2-3; 2:2-4 

How long, O LORD? I cry for help
but you do not listen!
I cry out to you, “Violence!”
but you do not intervene.
Why do you let me see ruin;
why must I look at misery?
Destruction and violence are before me;
there is strife, and clamorous discord.
Then the LORD answered me and said:
Write down the vision clearly upon the tablets,
so that one can read it readily.
For the vision still has its time,
presses on to fulfillment, and will not disappoint;
if it delays, wait for it,
it will surely come, it will not be late.
The rash one has no integrity;
but the just one, because of his faith, shall live.

Taken from:  http://www.usccb.org/bible/readings/100216.cfm

BY DR. MARK GISZCZAK

There are Two Kinds of Waiting

I feel the first kind of waiting whenever I’m on an airplane. We wait for the plane to take off, for the flight attendant to arrive with the beverage cart, for the rows of people in front of us to get off the plane. That kind of waiting is an impatient one, a feeling of annoyance at the situation, that never really changes to something positive, it simply ceases when whatever event finally happens. However, there is another kind of waiting, the eager anticipation of something great. That kind of waiting filled my heart when I was looking forward to Christmas day as a kid or when I was waiting for my wedding day. Rather than annoyance, this second kind of waiting has a hope-filled outlook, a certain joy to it.

Habakkuk’s Prayer

In this Sunday’s first reading from Habakkuk, we find the prophet doing just what I have been reflecting on: waiting. His book, unlike the other prophetic literature, is composed as a prayer, a dialogue between the prophet and God. Habakkuk complains to the Lord (1:2-4), then the Lord answers (1:5-11). Habakkuk complains again (1:12–2:1) and the Lord responds again (2:2-5). It’s comforting, I suppose, to see a holy prophet’s prayer that looks so much like our own prayers. It is even more comforting to see the Lord respond to Habakkuk’s prayers one by one, the same way he responds to our prayers.

Historical Context: Babylon is Coming

Habakkuk is suffering on account of the people of Judah. He realizes that they are about to be overtaken by the powerful army of Babylon and he is helpless to stop it. Habakkuk is standing on the wall of the city (either literally or figuratively in 2:1), looking out for the Babylonian hordes. His question to God centers around one of the central questions of the Old Testament: Why does the Lord allow his Chosen People to be conquered by pagan empires? Habakkuk puts the question thus:

Why do you look on the treacherous,and are silent when the wicked swallow those more righteous than they? (Hab 1:13 NRSV)

It is incomprehensible to the prophet that God would allow wicked nations to trample all over his own covenant family. In a sense, it is the same question we all ask when we experience sorrow and tragedy: Why does God allow bad things to happen to good people?

Wait!

God’s response to Habakkuk can be summed up easily: Wait! That’s not the answer we’re usually fishing for when we ask the Lord for something, but it is often the one we need to hear. In fact the idea of “waiting for the Lord” is all over the place in the Bible (Ps 27:14, 31:24, 33:20, 37:7, 37:9; Isa 8:17, etc.). Habakkuk has received a vision from the Lord and the Lord simply tells him to write it down and sit tight. The prophet wants to do whatever he can to save his people—he’s even watching out for the bad guys, but God is not yet ready to act. The Lord gives him a “vision,” but not the fulfillment of it. In fact, he warns, “If it seem slow, wait for it; it will surely come, it will not delay” (Hab 2:3 RSV). God’s plan in Habakkuk’s time was to discipline his people through the powerful nation of Babylon, which destroyed the temple and took the people into exile. Only after a period of seventy years would they return to the Holy Land. Habakkuk would not live to see that deliverance.

What Are We Waiting For?

While we might not be on the lookout for foreign invaders or be waiting to return from exile, each one of us has something for which we “wait on the Lord.” It might be a new stage in life, a new home or a new relationship. We might really be “waiting” for the spiritual growth we’ve been hoping for. Whatever it is, all our prayers and hopes rely on him. God does not sit on the sidelines and simply watch our lives unfold or spin out of control. Rather, he is in the game, working with us, helping us, guiding us if only we listen to his voice. When we are waiting for him to act, it is so tempting to give in to impatience and get annoyed—or worse yet, to receive what God is giving us without gratitude and then turn against him in bitterness. On the other hand, it also easy for us to fall into passivity, as if God delivers up perfect experiences without our contribution or effort.

Here is where the rubber meets the road: When we seek God and ask him to intervene, are we really willing to wait for his deliverance to come? Waiting feels useless, silly, a dead-end. And yet, waiting is truly human, an exercise of the virtue of patience. Waiting calls out our inner moral character and takes us from a domain of self-assertion into a place of receptivity. It may turn out after all the emails, texts, smartphones, alerts and 2-day shipping that T.S. Eliot was right after all: “the faith and the love are all in the waiting.”

THANKS TO THE AUGUSTINE INSTITUTE for this article

http://catholicexchange.com

Come Be My Light

"Words which do not give the light of Christ

increase the darkness."

--Mother Teresa

Mother Teresa Canonized September 4, 2016 

The remarkable woman who would be known as Mother Teresa began life name Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu.  Born on August 26, 1910 in Skopje, she was the youngest child born to Nikola and Drane Bojaxhiu.  Receiving her First Communion at the age of five, she was confirmed in November 1916. Her father died while she was only eight years old, leaving her family in financial straits.

Gonxha's religious formation was assisted by the vibrant Jesuit parish of the Sacred Heart in whihe she was very involved as a youth.

Subsequently moved to pursue missionary work, Gonxha left her home in September 1928 at the age of 18 to join the Institute of the Blessed Virgin Mary, known as the Sisters Of Loreto, in Ireland.  She received the name Sister Mary teresa after St. Therese of Lisieux.  In December of 1929, she departed fro her first trip to India, arriving in Calcutta.  After making her First Profession of Vows in May 1931, Sister teresa was assigned to the Loreto Entally community in Calcutta and taught at St. Mary's School for girls.

Sister Teresa made her Final Profession of Vows, on May 24, 1937, becoming, as she said, the "spouse of Jesus" for "all eternity." From that time on she was called Mother Teresa.

She continued teaching at St. Mary's and in 1944 became the school's principal.  Mother Teresa's twenty years in Loreto were filled with profound happiness.  Noted for her charity, unselfishness and courage, her capacity for hard work and a natural talent for organization, she lived out her consecration to Jesus in the midst of her companions, with fidelity and joy.

It was on September 10, 1946 during a train ride from Calcutta to Darjeeling for her annual retreat, Mother Teresa received her "Inspiration, her call within a call."  On that day, in a way she would never explain, Jesus' thirst for love and for souls took hold of her heart and the desire to satiate His thirst became the driving force of her life.

By means of interior locutions and visions, Jesus revealed to her the desire of His heart for "victims of love" who would "radiate His love on souls." "Come be My light,'"He begged her. "I cannot go alone."

Jesus revealed His pain at the neglect of the poor, His sorrow at their ignorance of Him and His longing for their love. He asked Mother Teresa to establish a religious community, Missionaries of Charity, dedicated to the service of the poorest of the poor.

Nearly two years of testing and discernment passed before Mother Teresa received permission to begin.  On August 17, 1948, she dressed for the first time in a white, blue-bordered sari and passed through the gates of her beloved Loreto convent to enter the world of the poor.

After a short course with the Medical Mission Sisters in Patna, Mother Teresa returned to Calcutta and found temporary lodging with the Little Sisters of the Poor.   On December 21, she went for the first time to the slums.  She visited families, washed the sores of some children, cared for an old man lying sick on the road and nursed a woman dying of hunger and tuberculosis.  She started each day with communion then went out, rosary in her hand to find and serve Him amongst "the unwanted, the unloved, the uncared for."  After some months, she was joined, one by one, by her former students.

On October 7, 1950, the new congregation of the Missionaries of Charity was officially established i the Archdiocese of Calcutta.  By the early 1960s, Mother Teresa began to send her Sisters to other parts of India.  The Decree of Praise granted to the Congregation by Pope Paul VI in February 1965 encouraged her to open a house in Venezuela.  It was soon followed by foundations in Rome and Tanzania and, eventually, on every continent.  Starting in 1980 and continuing through the 1990s, Mother Teresa opened houses in almost all of the communist countries, including the former Soviet Union, Albania, and Cuba.

In order to respond better to both the physical and spiritual needs of the poor, Mother Teresa founded the Missionaries of Charity Brothers in 1963, in 1976 the contemplative branch of the Sisters, in 1979 the Contemplative Brothers, and in 1984 the Missionaries of Charity Fathers.

Mother Teresa's inspiration was not limited to those with religious vocations.  She formed the Co-Workers of Mother Teresa and the Sick and Suffering Co-Workers, people of many faiths and nationalities with whom she shared her spirit of prayer, simplicity, sacrifice and her apostolate of humble works of love.

This spirit later inspired the Lay Missionaries of Charity.  In answer to the requests of many priests, in 1981, Mother Teresa also began the Corpus Christi Movement for Priests as a "little way of Holiness" for those who desire to share in her charisma and spirit.

During the years of rapid growth the world began to turn its eyes towards Mother Teresa and the work she had started.  Numerous awards, beginning with the INdian Padmashri Award in 1962 and notably the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979, honored her work, while an increasingly interested media began to follow her activities.  She received both prizes and attention "for the glory of God and in the name of the poor."

There was a heroic side of this great woman that was revealed only after her death.  Hidden from all eyes, even from those closest to her, was her interior life marked by an experience of a deep, painful and abiding feeling ob being separated from God, even rejected by Him, along with an ever increasing longing for His love.  She called her inner experience, the darkness.  The "painful night" of her soul, which began around the time she started her work for the poor and continued to the end of her life, led Mother Teresa to an ever more profound union with God.  Through the darkness she mystically participated in the thirst of Jesus, in His painful and burning longing for love, and she shared in the interior desolation of the poor.

In spite of increasingly severe health problems towards the end of her life, Mother Teresa continued to govern her Society and respond to the needs of the poor and the Church.  By 1997, Mother Teresa's Sisters numbered nearly 4,000 members and were established in 610 foundations in 123 countries of the world.  In March 1997 she blessed her newly-elected successor as Superior General of the Missionaries of Charity and then made one more trip abroad.  After meeting Pope John Paul II for the last time, she returned to Calcutta and spent her final weeks receiving visitors and instructing her Sisters.

On September 5, Mother Teresa's earthly life came to an end.  She was given the honor of a state funeral by the Government of India and her body was buried in the Mother House of the Missionaries of Charity.  Her tomb quickly became a place of pilgrimage and prayer for people of all faiths, rich and poor alike.

Mother Teresa left a testament of unshakable faith, invincible hope and extraordinary charity.  Her response to Jesus' plea. "Come be My light," made her a Missionary of Charity, a "mother to the poor." a symbol of compassion to the world, and a living witness to the thirsting love of God.  As a testament to her most remarkable life, Pope John Paul II permitted the opening of her Cause of Canonization.  On December 20, 2002, he approved the decrees of her heroic virtues and miracles.

(Taken from: http://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=5611)

Pope Francis ‏@Pontifex  Sep 3

Let us imitate Mother Teresa who made works of mercy the guide of her life and the path towards holiness.

And God Created Light

Welcome to my blog!

This is the beginning of my journey to be a Light to the World. I have been running an adult Bible Study for over 13 years.  It has become an intricate part of my life that started as a mere ember and has now burst into an unending fire of love for God's Word to the human race.  It has reached the point where it can no longer be contained within the confines of my ever-growing Bible Study group--thus, the reason for my blog.

Although based in the Roman Catholic Faith, it is not meant  just for Catholics.  As Jesus said, 

"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, throughout Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the Earth." 

Acts 1:8

The reason for the name of my blog.

By Ken Thomas - KenThomas.us(personal website of photographer), Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=19084739

In the Bible, God has referred to Himself as an eagle.  One of the reasons is His protective nature over his creation.

"You who dwell in the shelter of the Most High 

who abide in the shade of the Almighty,

Say to the LORD, 'My refuge and fortress,

my God in whom I trust."

He will rescue you from the fowler's snare,

from the destroying plague.

He will shelter you with his pinions,

and under his wings you may take refuge; 

his faithfulness is a protecting shield."

Psalm 91:1-4

By KetaDesign - http://www.ketadesign.ca/eaglephoto5.html, CC BY 2.5, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=2208079

Eagles represent sovereignty and God is the supreme ruler over all the world's leaders.  During storms, eagles can fly high above them and they are not affected by them; symbolic of God's sovereignty over nature.  Eagles are great parents to their young and remain monogamous until death.  God as our loving, heavenly Father is always faithful to us and no matter how many times we fail, He patiently picks us up, strengthens us with hope, and patiently calls us back to be with Him for eternity. 

"You have seen how I treated the Egyptians and how I bore you up on eagles' wings and brought you to myself."

Exodus 19:4

Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=706687

Eagles are very large birds; the bald eagle has a body length of 27- 40 inches.  A typical wingspan is between 5.9 and 7.5 feet and the eagle weighs between 6.6 and 13.9 pounds.  Because of their size it would take quite a bit of energy to fly.  So the eagle learns to fly on the wind thermals and the length of their wingspan makes gliding much easier.  The wings of the eagles and the wind thermals represent our faith and belief in God. The wind thermals that the eagles glide on represent the Holy Spirit active in our lives.  As the eagle has faith and belief in the wind thermals to help it glide across the sky in search of prey, we too have faith and belief in God to guide us through our lives in search for our eternal home.  As the eagle needs the wind thermals to hold it aloft, we need the Holy Spirit to lift us up and empower us to be righteous.

"'Not by might and not by power, but by my spirit,' says the Lord of hosts."

Zechariah 4:6

We must take that leap of faith as the eagle does when it takes off from its perch on top of the mountain and together with God's Spirit we will spread our wings and truly soar like eagles!

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